"Merry Christmas, I could care less."

Christmas songs I will actually listen to:
Yule Shoot Your Eye Out by Fall Out Boy.
Taking Back Sunday's (somewhat warped) rendition of 12 Days Of Christmas.
I think Copeland has a Christmas song as well... And when I started this typing this, I was listening to "Christmas Song" by Code Adam, but now it's a really tragic song called... um... Tragic, actually. I was thinking they sounded a bit like The Pink Spiders, but really they're more like Marvelous 3.

Which is probably what Paul was shooting for, actually. He's a cool dude. He comes up with really awesome theories.. Makes you think. It'd be cool to talk to him sometime.

Back to life

I've been terribly neglectful of this blog, instead choosing to relay messages in small pieces- or not at all.
While in some circles keeping my mouth shut is encouraged, this little corner of cyberspace is rarely stumbled upon, so I don't think I'm bothering anyone by rambling incessantly... Though it is a little lonely sometimes. The main thing on my mind this particular evening (other than "wow, it's been forever since I wrote up a blog entry, I'm amazed I haven't gone mad") was Thanksgiving. On the day itself my main thought on it was, "Ah, Thanksgiving, the most self-loathing time of the the year," due the fact that I ate too much, and it did a bit of damage to my confidence- I've become more and more self-conscious lately, and there's nothing like eating too much yourself to make you feel profoundly unattractive... I very nearly missed the point completely- I'm a few days late, but I'm trying- the point being, Thanksgiving. As, in giving thanks. Of course, you all knew that, I'm just trying to reinforce that for my own benefit, don't mind me. What am I thankful for?

A family that cares about me.

My friends- Those I've known since the 6th grade and those I am just learning to love.

A (relatively) safe and warm place to live.

The fact that I am able to talk to the amazing Mason from a'tris on a regular basis. (That just randomly popped into my head. The novelty has worn off a bit but the wonder of it never escapes me.)

Coffee.

I am fortunate enough to live near an excellent music venue that good bands play at quite frequently- That seems a little silly, but music is a huge part of my life, and some of the most amazing nights of my life have taken place at the Orange Peel.

I know there's a lot more, and I'm probably going to wind up adding to this about a thousand times... I just felt the need to put it out there. Maybe I'll even keep this as a running thing. Who knows?

The end of Copeland and the return of Esteban.

Today, I received the tragic news (via AbsolutePunk.net) that Copeland are breaking up.
What's the world coming to? So many incredible, genuine bands are coming to an end while trashy, shallow groups such as Millionaires, Brokencyde, and Blood On The Dancefloor are gaining in popularity every day. I blame the scene kids. I'm glad I'm not one of them anymore, they're absolutely useless. I used to be a sort of emo/scene kid, but that ended awhile ago when I got into more alternative stuff and realized how stupid the 'scene' really was... And now I'm leaning more and more towards indie these days... I tried to be a hardcore kid, I really tried. But I digress... I'm sad and sorry to hear about Copeland. They're one of my favorite bands ever... Aaron Marsh is such a compelling musician. I guess this is how all the Blink-182 fans felt when they split.

On a happier (and oddly related) note, Stephen Christian is back in the blogosphere. Good to have you back, mate.

Also, this is totally unrelated, but Mason from ā'trĭs is even more awesome than previously thought! Not only is he talented, charming, enthusiastic, sexy, and an all-around nice guy, but he's also a shark wrangler. He went fishing, and he caught a shark. I swear, I am not making this up. It wasn't, like, a huge killer shark, but it was still a shark. If you don't believe me, refer to this link.
And in addition to the qualities listed above, he has the power to make me smile in a truly ridiculous manner. Haha.

Saturday is the Einstein's Dream show I can't go to. Rawr. But the following Tuesday is the Madina Lake show, so that's awesome...

Today has been both completely normal and subtlely amazing.

It started out so so cold today but it did warm up, and it wound up being gorgeous out. The sky was surreal shade of blue. The lovely yellow tree in the front yard is losing its leaves, sadly... It is no longer the fairest of them all! Still waiting for my jacket and hat to arrive, but it's only been three days, so, yeah. Impatient. I've been swooning over ā'trĭs again... You had to expect that. Haha. Speaking of swooning and/or ā'trĭs, Mason (the dashing lead singer/pianist) caught me gushing about them on Twitter and struck up a conversation. Meep. Haha I was a little nervous. He's nice though. Don't worry, I won't go mad over this one... Though admittedly, pretty boys with pretty voices are my biggest weakness. They all just charm the hell out of me. If they play an instrument, all the better. I remember thinking about that when I was watching a Copeland video. I realize that Aaron Marsh my not be the best looking guy, but he is kinda cute. When I saw Copeland live I did not realize I was in the presence of genius. I did note that I could feel his voice in the floorboards, so that was pretty cool. I'm such a stupid kid though... It didn't register on me that Mikey from Sherwood was (possibly) flirting with me either. I think someone needs to teach me social protocol. What do you do with an awkward silence? How do you tell when someone is flirting? How do you strike up a conversation with someone??? It took me twenty minutes just to talk to my cousin at the Drinker's Union show. That reminds me, I kinda want to go to Greenlife just to see if Cyrus Atkins is there. Haha. I know he works there. It says so on his myspace page. Speaking of myspace... I have to rewrite my "About Me" section. Meh... I hate describing myself. I am dull. I have no life story, so prominent traits. I cannot describe myself. "Addicted to coffee, music, books, etc."
Oh! And, on the subject of amazing (the sort-of subject of this entry): The new Motion City Soundtrack song. OMFG. It's incredible. I am dying for this record to come out. Come back to Asheville, guys. Pleeeease. I won't freak out on Justin this time, I swear!! The first time saw them Tony almost hit me with a drumstick. Good times... But anywayyyy. Two weeks from tomorrow is the Madina Lake concert. A ride has been confirmed. I am so psyched to see them again. Not only are they great live, but they're also a lot of fun to hang out with. I wonder if Mateo will still have his cane? The video for "Welcome To Oblivion" came out today. Possibly my favorite song off the new record. I think that's about it for now...
Until the future, fair reader(s).

Boston/New Hampshire/Insanity

Cold but not tired today. I love ā'trĭs. I'm going to get all their CDs once I have sufficient funds. I practically have a ModCloth wishlist, but that stuff is just going to have to wait. I don't need those things. I do need these CDs. As always, music wins over material. I exasperate people with that... Cause I'll see something interesting, and I'll consider buying it, but I usually decide against it with the excuse of "Eh, that's too expensive"- and then I'll spend the same amount (or more!) on CDs. I have priorities. Haha. I usually look at things in terms of sensibility - I don't really need, say, a fedora, cause how often am I going to wear that around here? But if I buy a CD then I could listen to it anytime, and I can listen to it for years to come. (unless of course I wear it out like The Black Parade... Still gotta buy a new copy of that. I listened to it so often when it first came out that it actually has holes in it.) I do buy things other then CDs occasionally; For example, on Friday when what I've been picturing as "the perfect jacket" for over a year now became a reality and was put on sale on the Hot Topic site. Did that sentence make sense? I suck at composition. Probably my worst subject... Other than math of course!! But I digress. ā'trĭs! Fantastic. I don't think I even know of any other Boston-based bands. Except for, um, Boston. I assume they're from Boston, anyway... Then again, I'm pretty sure Asia aren't from Asia. And Barcelona aren't from Barcelona... and the band I'm From Barcelona are actually from Sweden, I think. And while we're on the subject of places: I cannot think of anyone who is from New Hampshire. It is the most overlooked state in the entire country. Every other state has something. But who even talks about New Hampshire? Other then Ben Jorgensen... Armor For Sleep have a song called "Williamsburg" and one lines says something to the effect of "You say you're from the O.C. but you were born in New Hampshire". It's a song about hipsters... Hipsters. What can you do? I'm kind of glad (I'm so glad.. I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad... Curse you, Eric Clapton. Geez. Now it doesn't even look like a word anymore) that I'm homeschooled. I don't think I would get along with all the scene kids. Apparently kids these days wear Gabe Saporta glasses, those scarves that remind me of a chenille bedspread I used to have, and they listen to Millionaires, Brokencyde, and other groups like that. (I refuse to call them 'bands'.) Yes, I said 'kids these days', and yes, I am an old woman. "In my day, there were nine planets!!" I remember reading an article about eight or nine years ago that was talking about "futuristic" technology, and of the things it mentioned was texting. Strange days. Off subject once again!! I wish I was in the Baltimore area right now. Then I could go to an ā'trĭs show. I could stay with my friend Jason, he's a musician too. (Obligatory link.) Check him out. He's awesome. And I'm not just saying that cause he's my friend... After all, I thought he was awesome before we became friends.)

Um. New Hampshire. J.D. Salinger, Dan Brown, e. e. cummings, Robert Frost...
The writer state, apparently. A little less in the spotlight but evidently a valuable asset.

Thinking about making a ModCloth post. They have such interesting things. Speaking of interesting, I have to remember to check the Clockwork Couture website... Steampunk FTW. That reminds me, I must be so behind on the Abney Park "Captain's Log" too.

ā'trĭs (It's impossible to type that. Copy and paste FTW)

So I was basically killing time on YouTube when I remembered a band I'd heard of, ā'trĭs. I didn't know what they sounded like, so I decided to go ahead and check them out. To make a long story short, they are INCREDIBLE.



I felt compelled to share that.

The End.
(Thank you to J. Hooker, this is all your fault. Hahaha. Though I wouldn't blame you for anything, I like you too much.)

Funny, it reminds me of something...

Just found the poster for the Madina Lake/Silverstein tour... It looks familiar somehow... Haha.

In other news, the Andrew Bird and St. Vincent show sold out, so I'm not going to that...
Saves $30 dollars though, and definitely improves my chances of going to the Pavane and Galliard show in the same week.
Speaking of shows I can't go to... A while ago The Sounds and Foxy Shazam booked The Orange Peel for a 16+ show. It annoyed me a bit that I couldn't go, but I wasn't too worried about it... But today I learned that RBTS WIN have signed on as the opening act!
Curses, foiled again. I'll see them someday...! Jared said awhile ago that Brien was moving to Seattle, but either he's decided against it or he's seriously putting it off. I'd like to see them eventually, so I hope he decides to stick around... I mean, it would be absolutely killer if Secret Lives! got back together, but I don't know if that'll happen, so anything involving Brien would be cool with me. What else is new? Hmmm... Edwin McCain is going to be playing at the Orange Peel for the hundredth time. Actually, he's played there seven or eight times in the last six years, but it seems like a lot more... Everytime you turn around there he is... GO HOME, MAN. Haha. I have nothing against him, I just think it's kinda funny... There's been alot of awesome acts at the Orange Peel, some of which I have missed, which really gets under my skin. I've missed Switchfoot twice! The second time they played with Copeland. Ouch.

I guess they were drunk?

Went to a CD release party for my cousin's band (Michael Burgin and The Drinker's Union) last night. It was even more fun then I expected. I almost didn't get in but the bouncer was really nice (thank you, thank you, sorry I didn't get your name). But anyway. It was a little awkward at first cause it was a very small place, so I just hung about the gallery for a bit... See, it's a bar/venue/gallery. Good atmosphere. Being the socially inept person that I am, it took around twenty minutes for me to actually get around to talking to Michael, he was cool though so it was alright. The opening act, Night's Bright Colors, were pretty cool... The last song they played was a cover, it sounded really really familiar but I can't place it. During both sets there was this guy, I guess he was maybe in his 50s or so, and he kept dancing around, then he got some lady to dance with him. It was bizarre. I think maybe they were a little drunk. During The Drinker's Union set a cute guy tried to get me to dance with him, but I was too shy and afraid of making a fool of myself. (I'm sorry, I really did like you!) The police showed up at one point, cause The Drinker's Union were playing really loudly. Haha. Ever been hit with a wall of sound? Well, I have. It was awesome though. They were probably twice as loud as Night's Bright Colors. We hung around for a bit afterwards, I wanted to thank the bouncer again but he was busy sweeping up broken glass... Did I mention he looks like a Leone? He does. Including the hobbit-like build. (Not, like, an actual hobbit... When I say that I'm referring to height, mainly. I am rather hobbit-like myself.) I suspect he's stronger then he looks though. After we left I tried to get Daniel (my brother) to park so we could see if Bucky from Shake Azalia was around (they were playing a show right down the street) but he wouldn't. Rawr. I wanted to stay out all night (oh dear, am I a partier??) but I am allergic to getting in trouble. I really hate when people are mad at me and I knew my mom wouldn't be happy if we got in super late, so we were back by around two-thirty in the morning. All in all, a fun night... I really want to see Andrew Bird in October. I think it'd be alot of fun, from what I've seen he's a real trip live. I guess we'll see what happens.

Know what you're talking about before you speak, for heaven's sake...

So I've had a couple good shocks this week...
1. John Cusack replied to me on Twitter. Mild cardiac arrest.
2. Accidently finding ClanDan on absolutepunk.net. Yikes. Despite all my denials, yes, I do find him intimidating. I'm scared to talk to him outside of Overcast Kids (actually, I'm scared to talk to him period). Which is strange cause he's a cool guy... I don't know why he makes me so nervous. I guess it's because I've experienced his anger firsthand... Which is the main subject of this entry. Think before you type. I guess I have to explain... Alright. Last summer, I created a thread on the OCK message board about Paramore. It was going okay, there was some banter between myself and another poster about Hayley Williams vs. Ashley Tisdale, it was stupid... And then someone posted about how they were just irritated that Paramore were jacking up ticket prices for Jack's Mannequin. I LIKE JACK'S MANNEQUIN. I want to get that painfully, agonizingly, blindingly clear before I proceed. I asked why no one even mentioned Phantom Planet. This started a fresh argument... Alex Greenwald vs. Andrew McMahon. I don't know if you've ever encountered an Andrew McMahon fan, but they're all rabid. Which, y'know, he's awesome, so it's justified. I said something really really stupid that I didn't mean, I knew next to nothing about Andrew at the time, and was informed that I had just 'dissed a dude with cancer'. I was already sorry and felt really shitty when ClanDan came in and he just ripped into me. He was so pissed. I pretty much felt like something that had crawled out of the sewer. I'm not trying to play the victim here; what I said was stupid and his anger was not misplaced. I'm just trying to explain why he's so intimidating... I apologized many times, he's since forgiven me and was really nice about it, but he still scares me. Haha. Actually, all of the Chicago Overcast Kids scare me...

Esteban's To-Do List.

Originally published here by the wonderful Stephen Christian. I only altered it in two ways; first, by putting it in the form of a list, and second, he said 'start a journal' three times. I get it, man. But anyway... I've opted to take this to heart and I want to do as many things on this list as possible. It might take years, but so what?

start a journal.

stop smoking for good.
(I don't smoke anyway, so I guess this doesn't count... )

write the screen play you promised yourself you would always write.

take singing lessons, please.

lose 10 pounds.

gain 10 pounds in muscle.

listen to a new type of music.

read about another religion.

book that ticket.

don’t call your x.

stop looking for mr. right.

start becoming mrs. right.

start painting, start with your room.

take a black and white photo.

walk don’t drive next time.

look around while walking.
(I did this last Saturday. Listening to Copeland and looking at the trees just starting to change colors.)

try a different drink next time, it might be your new favorite.

give the homeless man more than your money, give him a conversation.

see something beautiful in chaos.

see something beautiful in yourself.

see something beautiful in both at the same time.

call your family, yes all of them.

enjoy the sunshine, even though your sweating.

write a mission statement.

write 10 places you want to see before you die. go to 20.

talk to yourself.

talk to God.

really talk to someone you have never talked to before, even if you’ve had conversation with them.


read a book longer than 100 pages.
(The Last Apprentice: Attack Of The Fiend. 534 pages.)

finish college.

watch a foreign film with subtitles.
(La Moustache. Brilliant.)

do sit-ups.
(Gaaah, my abdomen!)

do a pushup, more if you can.
(And now my arms hurt too. I'm so weak.)

visit a nursing home.

play bingo.

listen to a story.

learn from the past.

look to the future.

go to a museum.

forgive yourself.

make sure your halo’s not on to tight.

find somewhere to volunteer.

listen to john coltrane’s record “a love supreme.’

try not eating meat for a day.
(I do this as often as possible. Once I'm on my own I can cut it out completely.)

write your grandparents a letter.

find a cause. believe in it. fight for it. live for it.

share the knowledge.

tell her how you really feel.

learn something new about yourself.

take a chance.

realize you are only human. you are going to fail.

realize that life doesn’t always work out the way you thought.

life is tough, life can be a challenge, life hurts. but it gets better, learn from your failure, learn and apply/ succeed. life has a way of working itself out. life can be an accomplishment. life is good... life is good.-estaban

Kafka, Hemingway, and a promise kept.

Now halfway through the first week of school... It's going moderately well. I'm doing badly in math but I think I may be improving (just a little rusty, that's all). Monday I read The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. It was insane, random, and a little sad... I loved it. Yesterday I wrote my book report (that feels so elementary school) on it. Today I started The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway. I like it so far. I kind of love books that mix in random pieces of foreign languages; in this case, it's French. Speaking of foreign languages, I'm still slowly forging through Latin. I'm sort of impatient to become fluent in it. That would be cool.

School aside, I got some AMAZING news yesterday; The return of Madina Lake!!! They'll be playing in Asheville on November 3rd with Silverstein. When they were here back in January, I talked to Matthew and he promised they would come back. I didn't really intend to hold him to that, but I trusted him anyway... And he's now keeping his word! I won't pretend they're coming back solely for me (haha), but it's amazing anyway. See, everyone?! I was right to trust him!! How could I help it, with that sunshine-infused smile he gave me? I couldn't help but trust him. Matthew is clearly a man of his word, and I love him all the more for it. (Though admittedly, it's kinda weird to think of him as a 'man' when he's barely taller then I am... haha.)
I'm dying to see them again. Definitely one of my favorite bands ever. By chronological right, I still dutifully maintain that My Chemical Romance are my absolute favorite, but Madina Lake is a very close second. It gets a little fuzzy after that... But anyway. I'm really looking forward to hearing songs off of Attics To Eden live, especially Welcome To Oblivion, and to be perfectly honest, I'm really looking forward to hanging out with the guys again too. I have a few things I wanna talk to them about... Plus maybe I can finally get an explanation as to why my copy of their first CD is different from most copies. I want to talk to the guys from Silverstein too, if I get the chance; after all, their Victory Records labelmates, Secret Lives! Of The Freemasons, are pretty much hometown heroes around here. I kinda want to brag on them, in a subtle way. I can be very subtle. Just casually bring it up... Yes, it's perfectly normal for me to scheme months in advance. It's better then the old "Great show, you guys!" routine. I was unfortunately forced to take this route when speaking to Jon Foreman, due to the unfortunate occurrence of my brain melting when I saw him... But with Madina Lake, it's practically like they're your friends or something. It was SO easy talking to them the first time, except for Mateo, he's a little intimidating when you first meet him. He's really nice though, it'll definitely be easier this time. I wonder if I'll actually have the nerve to ask Nathan if I can see his wizard tattoo... Hahaha. I just want to hug them all. Gaaaah. I can't wait for November. Screw October! I don't need that birthday anyway. No, wait, Andrew Bird and St. Vincent are going to be in Asheville in October. Alright, fine, October can exist... Which reminds me, I guess I should start planning a Halloween costume? Maybe after I find out if I'm actually going anywhere this year. I almost went to a party/concert last year, but I couldn't stay out late cause my Aunt Renee was getting married the next day. I think my schedule is clear this year though... Haha. It would be amazing if Einstein's Dream (one of my favorite local bands) would play a Halloween show...

Back to school again.

So this year I'm entering the 11th Grade. I'm homeschooled, but that doesn't mean it's easier; in fact, it's harder, cause it's just me and my mom figuring out what I need to do to get into University Of Minnesota. And there's ALOT. It would've been easier if I'd decided what I wanted to do in 8th grade, but at that point I wanted to be a chef, so I was on the right path... The path to A-B Tech. But then last year I started getting really interested in vegetarianism (my mom can blame Fred Mascherino for that) so becoming a chef wasn't exactly ideal... Or at least not with the courses that A-B Tech offers. At the same time, I was getting interested in psychology, which is how I chose my new path: Forensic Psychologist. What a leap, eh? Well, universities require alot more then technical schools do. So I've had to alot of catching up to get my courses done, and I'm still behind, particularly in math, which I've always been weak in, and science, which I've always hated. I worked through this summer, and I'll probably have to work through next summer too... I've gotten so discouraged at times, to the point that I want to quit school and just become a keyboardist (which is what I really want to be- Forensic Psychologist is the practical plan) but then I remember all how many times Stephen Christian has said that if you have the opportunity to go to college, then go for it... Plus, he has a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, so I could still be a musician after (and during) those four years. It certainly gets frustrating though... School starts tomorrow. Time to sit down, shut up, and survive the 11th grade.

It shakes me up when they write back.

I finally finished catching up on Stephen Christian's blog...
I read nearly six years' worth of entries in three days. Some of them were astoundingly long too. (See for yourself...)
322 entries. Averages out to about 107 a day. Wow. Of course, that's not quite accurate, as I only finished up 2008 and read 2009 (so far) today, but still.
I must really love Stephen... Or I'm completely deranged.
Either way it's painfully clear that I have no life...
Good to get that out of the way at the very start, eh?
I really do love Stephen though. He's incredible. I'll probably dedicate an entry to that after I finish with this... So, new subject.
Jamie Oliver of Lostprophets shattered my sanity on Monday.
See, he came up with this really entertaining insult (ridiculassholes) so I replied to it (on Twitter... Yep...) and commended his creativity. I didn't expect him (or any musician) to reply, as I'm sure musicians get thousands of @replies a day and not only are mine lost in the flood, but they're not really anything remarkable. So you can imagine my surprise when I checked my @replies (which are few and far between) and I found this: http://twitter.com/JayLostprophets/status/3372703824
Surprised is one way to put it... I nearly fainted dead away. It was a question I fear I answered inadequately, as I'd never really considered it, and the amount of space available for 'tweets' is often insufficient. If blog entries are the web equivalent of journal pages, then Twitter updates are the equivalent of Post-It Notes. The problem is I get so NERVOUS when musicians whose work I enjoy actually speak to me. Like the time JT Woodruff replied to me on Twitter, or the time Nick Wiggins of Aiden responded to the MySpace message I sent. I was in shock. Haha. And when I e-mail Justin Pierre he always writes back... it always makes my day/week/month. So you can imagine how badly I do when I actually meet these talented individuals... Maybe I'll write a entry specifically for that too. I've met some incredible people...

Intro

Well hello readers...
I've been meaning to start a blog (Well actually I prefer online journal but whatever) for quite awhile but I'm just now getting around to it. Sure, I have a myspace blog, but I kind of hate it. So anyway... Let's get started, shall we?